The Optimism of Summer

Currently I am going through a lot of my older posts in my blog and editing them to get rid of junk posts, add tags and make the titles more representative of the content of the posts. This of course entails reading things that are long forgotten memories for myself. Long forgotten even from one year ago sadly. I just got through a section of posts about “The Summer of Ian” They are from almost exactly one year ago. It is amazing how things change, and how rapidly they change.

At the begining of June 2009 I was sure my job at Skory Autosound would last. I was making good money, I had established myself nicely in a house in Okemos, and I was starting to save money to get out of debt and acquire the things I needed to go forward with making movies also to get out of debt. I had very recently broken up with Olivia (I am not even going to get into that story any time soon.) I was single and ready to mingle. The whole world was my oyster and I was a mollusk loving freak.
Then.. it all changed. The job I thought would last did not, my relationship with Olivia only grew more complicated and the little money I had saved suddenly had to be spent elsewhere.

A year later I am starting fresh again, with optimism but maybe not the pure blinding optimism as before. Currently I am living in a great apartment with the most fantastic roommate I could ask for. I have a new job, but is honestly a crappy job and I don’t make much money. I do make enough money to pay my rent and bills, only barely. I have been thinking greatly as of late about returning to school. I have decided I would like to aquire a degree in English Literature. I have many reason for that choice and I may post about those later. My life as of late is a struggle, but the optimism comes from me at least being able to see the light. If I can struggle like this for just a few years I may be able to pull myself out of this pile of debt, depression and self-loathing. I can feel it! I feel like I have really changed, matured even.
This may not be The Summer of Ian, I do think it will be a great summer nonetheless.

Welcome Back Livejournal!

I finally got around to re-adding the livejournal app to my phone, so I should be posting regular again.

A quick update on what is new with me. Olivia and I have broken up, The Bulock Show is up and running (even though I have not edited our last podcast in a week.) I am dieting once again, my computer is down and summer is giving me lots of hope for the future.

More later.

The New Year…

…so far has been a little strange.

I had a brief stint this week with trying to reconcile things with my old friend Drew which turned out to be less than sucessful. I suppose it was just not meant to be.

I am not entirely sure if I had mentioned it before but I recently was forced to move rather quickly and have ended up renting another room in a house, this time out in Okemos.

I don’t plan on staying here forever but it will probably be a while now before I have the chance to finally find my own place.

Financially my life is more depressing than ever I am currently payin about 200 a week in rent. A price my paychecks can barely cover. It is a temporary payment amount until my security deposit is paid off but it has made my life incredibly stressful.

Things could be going better between Olivia and I. While I would say we are still very much in love, emotionally the trip has been chaotic as of late. I am hoping things change soon but all I can really do is wait, I have done everything else in my power to make it better and now the ball is in her court.

On the brighter side of things I have been eating healthier lately and can already see the benefits of such in my body. Fitting into a size 36 pant has now become possible and my energy levels are gradually increasing to a less comatose place.

Otherwise nothing is new, peace out!

A sigh of relief…

I slept immensely good last night, probably the first real good night of sleep I have had in a long time.

I don’t know the exact time it happened or how it came to be, but things have fallen back into place again. The chaos that surrounded my life for the past couple of months is gone and things are where they should be.

What I am trying to say is, I am no longer depressed.

I noticed yesterday while I was at work, instead of being a down in the dumps nerf herder I was actively social with my customers. I actually enjoyed interacting with them for the first time in a while. It was immediately obvious that something was different.

I think it has to do with a couple of things.

The election has brought a ton of hope to a lot of people. For the first time in recent history we have a cohesive government that can get things done without having to worry about party politics. I may not agree with the democrats on everything (most of the time they piss me off almost as much as the republicans) but having one so massively ahead of the other means that when somebody wants to pass a law or get something done, it will just happen. It is going to be a great time of change for America and I hope it is change for the best.

Also, things with Olivia seem to have finally gone back to normal. We are actually able to have fun again. It was a long road to go down and a shitty one at that but the sacrifice might finally be paying off. It is a good feeling.

Financially I am still a mess for the time being, fortunately for me I don’t really care all that much. I can see my short-term financial future and it is looking good. I have been learning to manage to live on about 40 dollars a week for food and bus money. By doing this I am going to be able to start putting about 200 dollars a week into my savings/bills fund. A fund which I only pay out about 500 a month from. So, 300 a month into savings? That is a very good thing. If I can just keep that up for about 6 months I will have the money to finally make things happen.

Yeah… not a lot else is new. Unless you all want to come out for Skory-oke tonight. 😀

Peace out.