The Optimism of Summer

Currently I am going through a lot of my older posts in my blog and editing them to get rid of junk posts, add tags and make the titles more representative of the content of the posts. This of course entails reading things that are long forgotten memories for myself. Long forgotten even from one year ago sadly. I just got through a section of posts about “The Summer of Ian” They are from almost exactly one year ago. It is amazing how things change, and how rapidly they change.

At the begining of June 2009 I was sure my job at Skory Autosound would last. I was making good money, I had established myself nicely in a house in Okemos, and I was starting to save money to get out of debt and acquire the things I needed to go forward with making movies also to get out of debt. I had very recently broken up with Olivia (I am not even going to get into that story any time soon.) I was single and ready to mingle. The whole world was my oyster and I was a mollusk loving freak.
Then.. it all changed. The job I thought would last did not, my relationship with Olivia only grew more complicated and the little money I had saved suddenly had to be spent elsewhere.

A year later I am starting fresh again, with optimism but maybe not the pure blinding optimism as before. Currently I am living in a great apartment with the most fantastic roommate I could ask for. I have a new job, but is honestly a crappy job and I don’t make much money. I do make enough money to pay my rent and bills, only barely. I have been thinking greatly as of late about returning to school. I have decided I would like to aquire a degree in English Literature. I have many reason for that choice and I may post about those later. My life as of late is a struggle, but the optimism comes from me at least being able to see the light. If I can struggle like this for just a few years I may be able to pull myself out of this pile of debt, depression and self-loathing. I can feel it! I feel like I have really changed, matured even.
This may not be The Summer of Ian, I do think it will be a great summer nonetheless.

The Summer of Ian…

…has begun.

In the constant struggle to improve my own life and make myself something more than I am. I realize that setting my goals too high is a huge mistake.

I can’t change my diet overnight, I can’t become a famous filmmaker in just one year.

It is all about taking those small steps now. The little steps towards something bigger.

This summer should be a great one. For the first time in years my mind is not clouded with addiction. I have a stable job and a good place to live. I am reconnecting with lost friends. Things just seem to be falling into place exactly how they need to. I am hoping to see a few short films made this summer, more great podcasts to be released.

If things work how I would like them to, this summer is going to be a great launching point for things to come. It is very exciting for me. I feel as if I am finally out of the hole I have been in all this time.

Wish me luck as I try to enjoy this ride.

In my mind it feels like….

…summer. I don’t know why. But I have been rather optimistic and creative lately, a strange thing to be this time of year. I think having less distractions at home and a bit more space to roam around has relieved some stress in my life and made my mind open back up a bit.

In a way I am glad my computer is down. I have to find other things to do, I have to think about things other than the random movies I download and games I play.

I started writing a song yesterday, I like it so far. I am still working on my short story as well. I have been writing every day and it feels great. I hope I can keep it up.

Now if only I could have some more money in my life, things would be just about perfect…